Marriage, Identity, and Scripture

Earlier today, I was reflecting on my heart.  More specifically, I was reflecting on how poorly I treat my wife sometimes.  Seriously.  Today, I felt if there were a Bad Husband award, I'd be in the running.  Nothing considerably major, like abuse or anything.  But I come from a long lineage of sarcasm and quick wit; more often than not, I use my tongue to destroy far beyond its capacity to build up.

Now my tendency when I reach this point is to dwell there.  Wallow in my misery, as it were.  And wouldn't you know it, the more I thought about it, the more I thought about just how horrible I am in other areas.  It reminded me of a poem I wrote back in high school, where the closing line simply stated, "I am a sinner."  So I reflected more on that.  I began to realize how much I cling to that.  But apparently, I'm not the only one.

As a whole, it seems the Church has widely embraced that we should embrace our sinful nature; not indulge in it, but to readily admit how sinful are.  I mean, even Martin Luther is famous for stating that he is simul justus et peccator, or, "Righteous and at the same time a sinner."  One of DT Niles' famous quotes says, "Christianity is one beggar telling another beggar where he found bread.."  I have heard this quite often in my years in the Church, and there is truth to that.  But something just feels...well, off.  So when plagued with how Scripture describes my identity, the best place to look is Wikipedia Scripture!

Interestingly, Romans 7 is the ONLY time where Paul describes himself as a sinner, but the surrounding context applies this to his former life.  (This is not the time and/or place for a dissection of Greek verb tenses...)  Scripture talks a lot about sin, and a lot about sinners, and that there is a punishment for sin.  But for those who claim Christ - in Christ, of Christ, Christ in us, etc. - the title of "Sinner" is no longer applicable.  So what does Scripture say about those who are in Christ?

• We are adopted by God - Romans 8:14-16; Galatians 4:4-6
• We are children of God - 1 John 3:1-2
• We are heirs of God/co-heirs with Christ - Romans 8:17; Galatians 4:7
• We are no longer condemned - Romans 8:1
• We are made new - 2 Corinthians 5:17
• We a God's chosen people, holy and beloved - Colossians 3:12
• We are spiritually joined with God - 1 Corinthians 6:17
• We are saints - Ephesians 1:1; 1 Corinthians 1:2; Philippians 1:1
• We are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation - 1 Peter 2:9

And these are only a few of the claims that Christians can hold on to.  If I wanted to list them all, well, you and I both would be here for quite some time.  But the point is that Scripture - God's Word which is "breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness" (2 Timothy 3:16) - does not identify the Christian as a sinner, but as something much greater than that.  Christ's accomplished work not only takes away our status as sinner, but gives us his status as holy.  God himself tells me that I am chosen, beloved, holy, and belong to him.  I can't argue with that.

So going back to my earlier dilemma (RE: being a bad husband, remember the intro?), I realized that if I am to mirror Christ and love my wife as Christ loves the Church, how do I do that?  Not as a sinner, but as a holy child of God?  How do I love Amy in a way that brings glory to the name of Jesus?

The best thing I could think of to start was to apologize, not just for my biting tongue, but for taking her for granted.  All her work as a wife and mother, a friend, and sister in Christ.  That's my start.  Stop taking my beloved for granted, serve her in a way that leads her, and to bring her before the throne of God.  That's how I need to start loving my wife.  I'll let you know if I figure out what to do next...